Having reached so far, I find you but not you,
Now Nowhere to turn to, I should end up with you and only you.
where I went wrong, I cant see it better you tell me,
Pity it is, with loss of originality, even you cant tell me.
Here I am with all my life for even a not so you of you,
Coz I have a feeling that u can still be seen only through you.
And I shall wait till that moment though temporary comes,
As for me its not time that matters, my beloved "you".
Monday, December 29, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
The Complete Man
When I was a kid, I watched Raymond suiting advertisement on television which had its punch line as: "For the complete man" and used to show some nice suite clad men in a marriage, a young guy paying respect to his parents, showing love to his beautiful wife, this was what I always wanted to be. This was fantasy and at that age I did not use to think about things like what kind of professions those guys must be in or what kind of lives guys like those must be leading.
Then I grew older and reached college. There I had a chance to interact with Ankit Fadia( Hacking wizard), I read about Sabir Bhatia or Steve Jobs and my fantasy of a complete man changed a bit and now my complete man used to wear informal clothes. He was a guy who had done something different in his life and had taken a road less travelled.( I had then read poem, "The road less travelled" by Robert Frost. I loved it and do love it still). My complete man was successful in his professional life and had made his fortune himself.
Then I read "Fountain Head" by Ayn Rand,( thanks to a friend, both of us read book as a competition between us, which of course I won :-) ) and this book impacted my concept of complete man immensely. Now he was a guy who was a perfectionist, perfectly selfish and therefore altruistic ( oops I just said that). He did care only about himself and did not have expectations from anybody. I used to believe that protagonist Howard Roark is a utopian concept for Indian society but I had started behaving like Howard and his impact on me was visible to some closer ones of mine too. (I lost some good friends and people started me terming as an individualist but after all collectivists never like individualists :-) )
Then I happened to read a book "Seven Habits of highly effective people", ( I never like books of this sort, but we do sometimes like to do things which we don’t like to do), Some first chapters of the book fortified Howard Roark inside me but then came some further chapters which tried to tone him down a little. This book did not impact me much, only significant thing that I learnt was that one should try to look at other's paradigm also before one reaches to any stand (Well doing this sometimes confuses me a lot, but helps me mostly.)
But then another phase has come where I have become a little negative about all my conceptions of complete man. I term it as that reality has struck me. Aged 24 today, I sometime feel that time is slipping and I am stuck where I have been. I am no longer sure of my control on my life. I just want to float in the river called destiny. But I want to enjoy and do enjoy this floating of mine ( Ah, I remember free floating in Ganges here which I had done on a rafting trip last year, that was beautiful and so is this free floating today.)
Well last paragraph is one side of my thoughts, other side says that life is about being positive. It is your control of life and Hey who can take it away from you? It says you may not be a complete man but you are very good, you may think that you are stranded but if you see closely, you have improved during this period more than any other in your life.
Well, I guess the positive thoughts strike more chord with me than the negative ones and hence here I am doing and experiencing many things in my life that I have never done before. I might be little off the target with which I had started the article but the point that I wanted to make keeping myself at the helm was that- the negative phase that I talked about briefly comes in everybody's life someday. I have seen some people going in depression when they turn 30 because they think that they can't reach the long terms that they had set for themselves 5 years earlier because they have wasted a lot of time. But This is not what life is about, it is about Saying Yes to experiences and being bubbling with enthusiasm and to continue to improve (one must decide his own definition for term improvement though) and we must live and enjoy it to the fullest. Just live it like you have never done before and everybody thus becomes a complete man in his own respect.
Note: I was never sure I would be able to end this article on positive note :-D
Then I grew older and reached college. There I had a chance to interact with Ankit Fadia( Hacking wizard), I read about Sabir Bhatia or Steve Jobs and my fantasy of a complete man changed a bit and now my complete man used to wear informal clothes. He was a guy who had done something different in his life and had taken a road less travelled.( I had then read poem, "The road less travelled" by Robert Frost. I loved it and do love it still). My complete man was successful in his professional life and had made his fortune himself.
Then I read "Fountain Head" by Ayn Rand,( thanks to a friend, both of us read book as a competition between us, which of course I won :-) ) and this book impacted my concept of complete man immensely. Now he was a guy who was a perfectionist, perfectly selfish and therefore altruistic ( oops I just said that). He did care only about himself and did not have expectations from anybody. I used to believe that protagonist Howard Roark is a utopian concept for Indian society but I had started behaving like Howard and his impact on me was visible to some closer ones of mine too. (I lost some good friends and people started me terming as an individualist but after all collectivists never like individualists :-) )
Then I happened to read a book "Seven Habits of highly effective people", ( I never like books of this sort, but we do sometimes like to do things which we don’t like to do), Some first chapters of the book fortified Howard Roark inside me but then came some further chapters which tried to tone him down a little. This book did not impact me much, only significant thing that I learnt was that one should try to look at other's paradigm also before one reaches to any stand (Well doing this sometimes confuses me a lot, but helps me mostly.)
But then another phase has come where I have become a little negative about all my conceptions of complete man. I term it as that reality has struck me. Aged 24 today, I sometime feel that time is slipping and I am stuck where I have been. I am no longer sure of my control on my life. I just want to float in the river called destiny. But I want to enjoy and do enjoy this floating of mine ( Ah, I remember free floating in Ganges here which I had done on a rafting trip last year, that was beautiful and so is this free floating today.)
Well last paragraph is one side of my thoughts, other side says that life is about being positive. It is your control of life and Hey who can take it away from you? It says you may not be a complete man but you are very good, you may think that you are stranded but if you see closely, you have improved during this period more than any other in your life.
Well, I guess the positive thoughts strike more chord with me than the negative ones and hence here I am doing and experiencing many things in my life that I have never done before. I might be little off the target with which I had started the article but the point that I wanted to make keeping myself at the helm was that- the negative phase that I talked about briefly comes in everybody's life someday. I have seen some people going in depression when they turn 30 because they think that they can't reach the long terms that they had set for themselves 5 years earlier because they have wasted a lot of time. But This is not what life is about, it is about Saying Yes to experiences and being bubbling with enthusiasm and to continue to improve (one must decide his own definition for term improvement though) and we must live and enjoy it to the fullest. Just live it like you have never done before and everybody thus becomes a complete man in his own respect.
Note: I was never sure I would be able to end this article on positive note :-D
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
My Grandfather
When I was 9 years old, my grandfather died. I remember his funeral when his body was covered in Indian Flag and Commissioner of Police and a police team had come to pay their last visit to him. I was afraid to touch his body and feeling that he was dead, had not sunk in. The first memory that I have of my Grandfather is of him, teaching me Gita in Sanskrit. He was a Freedom Fighter and I used to understand that there was something special about him different from others but the true significance of him being a Freedom Fighter was never understood by me then. I remember, he was very punctual and used to get up very early in the morning, used to do a lot of Yoga. He used to Knit Yarn daily and then he used to bathe with Mud (black mud of my home town, he never bathed with a Soap). He did not believe in worship of statues and rather he would read Vedas for sometime daily in the morning. In the evening he used to do a Evening Prayer called SANDHYA by him and then he would take him night meals. He would sometime create some beautiful stories for us and we used to enjoy them a lot. As when he died, I was very young, I could never see him as a Great man rather I always saw him as my beloved grand father. But today when I think about him, I feel proud of him and proud of myself to be grand child of such a great man.
It is now only that I realize that how hard must it have been for him to leave my grand mother alone at home in a very poor condition and to go for the cause of freedom of India. How much resolve must he have had for doing this. Now I understand why he used to be so excited when I used to recite my Independence Day speech to him in Sanskrit and why he and his many friends used to give me sweets for the same. Now I understand why he used to be so delighted on Independence Day. Now I understand why he was not in favor of worshiping statues of Gods. Now I understand why he wanted to open a naturopathy Centre and give free treatment to poor. Now I understand why he used to give so much importance to healthy living and healthy thinking. Today I am able to understand that he had a lot of courage, he was very honest and truthful, he never cheated anybody and all these things were not that he followed but they were values that he used to live his life with. He wanted his country to be the best in world and preferred simplicity to the pomp. Pain of other persons was his own pain and nature was a balm for him.
If I look at myself, I feel that while he may be happy in many ways to see me as what I am, he must also be very sorry about many things. while teaching me Gita or other things he wanted me to internalize many values which I have not and if I talk of resolve, I think I am very fickle. But I think I have a goodness in me that is a quality that I bestowed from him and that’s why I feel pain for others, and am pround of my country and sometimes feel sorry for many things for which he would have had same feeling as that of mine. I have a wish in my life that I should improve myself in to somebody so that he is truly proud of me when he sees me from Great Heavens. And I continue to strive for that. And I am sure I will succeed some day. Amen.
It is now only that I realize that how hard must it have been for him to leave my grand mother alone at home in a very poor condition and to go for the cause of freedom of India. How much resolve must he have had for doing this. Now I understand why he used to be so excited when I used to recite my Independence Day speech to him in Sanskrit and why he and his many friends used to give me sweets for the same. Now I understand why he used to be so delighted on Independence Day. Now I understand why he was not in favor of worshiping statues of Gods. Now I understand why he wanted to open a naturopathy Centre and give free treatment to poor. Now I understand why he used to give so much importance to healthy living and healthy thinking. Today I am able to understand that he had a lot of courage, he was very honest and truthful, he never cheated anybody and all these things were not that he followed but they were values that he used to live his life with. He wanted his country to be the best in world and preferred simplicity to the pomp. Pain of other persons was his own pain and nature was a balm for him.
If I look at myself, I feel that while he may be happy in many ways to see me as what I am, he must also be very sorry about many things. while teaching me Gita or other things he wanted me to internalize many values which I have not and if I talk of resolve, I think I am very fickle. But I think I have a goodness in me that is a quality that I bestowed from him and that’s why I feel pain for others, and am pround of my country and sometimes feel sorry for many things for which he would have had same feeling as that of mine. I have a wish in my life that I should improve myself in to somebody so that he is truly proud of me when he sees me from Great Heavens. And I continue to strive for that. And I am sure I will succeed some day. Amen.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Epic Ramayana in Few Lines
When I was a small kid, my grandfather had told me a verse of Sanskrit, which summarises Ramayana in few words, today I read an Article discussing if Ramayana is just a fictional epic or it is based on some real events. This reminded me of these beautiful lines of Sanskrit, and there those lines are:
In Sanskrit:
"Aadau Raam tapovanadi gamanam, hatwa mrig kaanchanam, Vaidehi haranam, Jataayu maranam, Sugreev sambhaashanam, Baalee nirdanam, samudra tarnam, Lankaapuri daahnam, pashchaat Ravana Kumbhkarna hananam, etad Ramayanam."
In English (Translation):
In the ancient age, Rama(Raam) went to sacred forest, tried to kill a golden deer. In between Sita(Vaidehi) was kidnapped and Jatayu was killed. A meeting with Sugreeva happened and Baalee was killed. Then travell across the great See happened. and Lankapuri was burnt. Thereafter Ravana and khumbhkarna was killed. And this is Ramayana.
In Sanskrit:
"Aadau Raam tapovanadi gamanam, hatwa mrig kaanchanam, Vaidehi haranam, Jataayu maranam, Sugreev sambhaashanam, Baalee nirdanam, samudra tarnam, Lankaapuri daahnam, pashchaat Ravana Kumbhkarna hananam, etad Ramayanam."
In English (Translation):
In the ancient age, Rama(Raam) went to sacred forest, tried to kill a golden deer. In between Sita(Vaidehi) was kidnapped and Jatayu was killed. A meeting with Sugreeva happened and Baalee was killed. Then travell across the great See happened. and Lankapuri was burnt. Thereafter Ravana and khumbhkarna was killed. And this is Ramayana.
Monday, October 6, 2008
She my trueself
" Thought she was there no more
but she still jolts me.
thought I was not defined by her any more
but she still explains a lot of me.
Thought I breath air of my own,
but still its not my true identity.
thought I don't owe any thing to her,
but I have no such feeling any more.
There she is again more than she was before,
And I do know she is the one, I truly adore."
but she still jolts me.
thought I was not defined by her any more
but she still explains a lot of me.
Thought I breath air of my own,
but still its not my true identity.
thought I don't owe any thing to her,
but I have no such feeling any more.
There she is again more than she was before,
And I do know she is the one, I truly adore."
Friday, September 26, 2008
Susceptible I
I have never found myself more susceptible to new ideologies, ways of thinking and ways of doing things than I am finding these days. Some days ago I was reading a book about "Special theory of relativity" and there I read this chapter about time dilation. I was so moved by this. I was reading this in my office bus and as soon as I understood that our concept of time is not absolute, I was awestruck. I was not able to speak any sentence, I just wanted to think more and more about it. I started thinking about that basic "mosquito in a train example" ( general theory of relativity) and then tried to relate it to slowing of clock ( can be explained on the basis of special theory of relativity). Oh man, I don't remember when I got down from bus and when did I reached my flat. I was so much in to it. I had read this theory before but never was so overwhelmed.
Some days ago I completed book "Discovery of India" and as soon as it was finished,I felt a strange void. The conception of man's thought, his purpose on earth made me feel uneasy. What I am doing? What should be done? Should man seek balance in his life or should he become an individualist and an extremist. All these things had never struck me like this ever before.
Yesterday, I watched 2 movies- " Secret Window" and "In to the Wild", I was so amazed to see movie:"In to the wild". Is man a force of universe? How small are capabilities in comparison to the might that of a river? Why at all we sometime try to go against nature? Why this society? why don't we live as animals in pure coherence with nature?
I have noticed that I have too many questions these days and have very few answers. And somehow, I try to get answers for these complex questions by some rudimentary thinking. I sometimes reach somewhere and most of times I am lost in my thoughts.I know I get a lot of pleasure thinking and which drives me to keep doing so. But this sometimes disturbs me a lot, I get a little absent minded. For instance on Friday after reading after reading this theory of relativity I was nowhere. I was lost somewhere.
I believe I may not get answers for these questions of mine, but somehow this thought process helps me develop me as an Individual. I think this has something to do with my age that I am so susceptible to thinking. And more because of the fact that earlier probably my IQ was not so much that I could appreciate real beauty of all these thoughts. And that is one thing I can be happy about. Ultimately the fact is that I am too susceptible these days and don't know how many new questions will come to me? And eventually how many more dimensions will be added to my perspective further?
Some days ago I completed book "Discovery of India" and as soon as it was finished,I felt a strange void. The conception of man's thought, his purpose on earth made me feel uneasy. What I am doing? What should be done? Should man seek balance in his life or should he become an individualist and an extremist. All these things had never struck me like this ever before.
Yesterday, I watched 2 movies- " Secret Window" and "In to the Wild", I was so amazed to see movie:"In to the wild". Is man a force of universe? How small are capabilities in comparison to the might that of a river? Why at all we sometime try to go against nature? Why this society? why don't we live as animals in pure coherence with nature?
I have noticed that I have too many questions these days and have very few answers. And somehow, I try to get answers for these complex questions by some rudimentary thinking. I sometimes reach somewhere and most of times I am lost in my thoughts.I know I get a lot of pleasure thinking and which drives me to keep doing so. But this sometimes disturbs me a lot, I get a little absent minded. For instance on Friday after reading after reading this theory of relativity I was nowhere. I was lost somewhere.
I believe I may not get answers for these questions of mine, but somehow this thought process helps me develop me as an Individual. I think this has something to do with my age that I am so susceptible to thinking. And more because of the fact that earlier probably my IQ was not so much that I could appreciate real beauty of all these thoughts. And that is one thing I can be happy about. Ultimately the fact is that I am too susceptible these days and don't know how many new questions will come to me? And eventually how many more dimensions will be added to my perspective further?
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Uddvelan
"It hits hard. And leaves no chance to do so. Demon is always there.
sometimes it pushes hard and sometimes just a gentle wipe. The sun rises.and there is always a night after..I think why? Snakes come to me,hiss and try to scare me but never bite. Anyway eventually I have no place to run" Professor is suddenly awakened from his dreams. He has been dreaming a demon since last some days and is aware of doing so. The girl on the next seat is very cautiously watching this old man.She starts crying. The professor feels helpless.What is happening to him? Sometimes he dreams a war, some times he dreams a young man bare chested with blood all around. Sometimes there is light and patterns formed as in Young's double slit experiment. "Oh..Young Double slit experiment..Oh class..Oh what is time: its 9:30..Oh Shit,Late again.Professor sees the crying girl.she is again watching him carefully but this time smiling". Professor checks his notes.They are with him. Fine!! Professor sings to himself: "stayin alive..stayin alive..ah ah ah..." the girl is relaxed now.and so is prof.
Professor is a Physics Teacher in 'Boys High School'. He is again late for class as usual.
Note: I feel as if some burden is off me. I don't know how it happened.
sometimes it pushes hard and sometimes just a gentle wipe. The sun rises.and there is always a night after..I think why? Snakes come to me,hiss and try to scare me but never bite. Anyway eventually I have no place to run" Professor is suddenly awakened from his dreams. He has been dreaming a demon since last some days and is aware of doing so. The girl on the next seat is very cautiously watching this old man.She starts crying. The professor feels helpless.What is happening to him? Sometimes he dreams a war, some times he dreams a young man bare chested with blood all around. Sometimes there is light and patterns formed as in Young's double slit experiment. "Oh..Young Double slit experiment..Oh class..Oh what is time: its 9:30..Oh Shit,Late again.Professor sees the crying girl.she is again watching him carefully but this time smiling". Professor checks his notes.They are with him. Fine!! Professor sings to himself: "stayin alive..stayin alive..ah ah ah..." the girl is relaxed now.and so is prof.
Professor is a Physics Teacher in 'Boys High School'. He is again late for class as usual.
Note: I feel as if some burden is off me. I don't know how it happened.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Mile Sur Mera Tumhara: India, Unity in Diversity
Yesterday I happened to see Doordarshan's Old song " Mile Sur Mera Tumhara" on DD Bharti. For those who don't know about this song, Here is introduction that it used to be telecasted on DD National earlier almost 3-4 times in a day and has first lines as " Mile sur mera tumhara to sur bane humaaara". Then in the song many people and prominent personalities from different part of contry are shown singing these lines and then all of them are shown to assemble at a place so as to form a symbolic Indian map. Little kids with Candles are shown, with Candles in their Hands and they Create an India. Song is just one click away at YouTube.
I remember when I was a kid, I kind of not liked it because I had to wait for my favourite serial Mahabharata for some more time because of this song. But at that age also it used to generate a sense of Indianness among me. It was my first introduction to a South Indian Language or a Marathi people singing this song in marathi language. It was the song that subconsciously made me aware of India being a diverse country and all of us being a thread to its diversity and yet being united to make this beautiful collage. I consider myself lucky to have been later in a MNNIT Allahabad, where I came in contact with people from all parts of India ( In all NITs in India we have quotas for persons from all states of India) and felt the richness of India because of this diversity. I always have seen this diversity as our unique strength.
But now that I have grown up, I have other feeling also, for this "Unity in Diversity" Tag. Sometimes I think that we(Indians) have spent only 61 years as country India. Earlier there were provinces and there was no concept of India as a nation. So if you consider this, you would realise that out of say 5000+ years we have been India only for 61 years. And precisely grew united because of urgency during freesom movement of India, which provided us a common cause. And as we all know that even for Freedom we had to become divided in India and Pakistan ( though it was because of many reasons yet the baseline was our diversity,religious in this case. And Besides we had Leadership of some great figures of Indian History like Mahatma Ghandhi, or some others, and they were the ones who helped in development of concept of nation India.
But now after 61 years, does it not look like we are falling apart? Consider these recent separatist movements for separate Kashmir,earlier for separate Khalistan, North East and in Tamilnadu. I read this Statement from Arundhati Roy some days earlier that Kashmir should be given Freedom from India. I understand, that the statement is emotional to a large extent but it has an intellectual basis also. Does it not strike you since we have no common cause like freedom struggle today, we are moving towards separation which is our natural tendency because of so much diversity? I mean we always say that India in unique because of "Unity in Diversity", but to me it looks like that this diversity alone does not let us to become united naturally.
Well, This is just a thought that I do not subscribe very well for even myself. But somehow it makes some sense. and if you think more on this point, it makes greater sense. It seems natural that we have Naxalism,Bodo terrorism or many such other problems.
But On thinking more I find out that No, we have a common Thread, a sense of being Indian, which I am ignoring if I say that separation is our natural tendency. If Abhinav wins a Gold Medal, a Tamil is as happy as a punjabi. And Its been like this since ages that people at one part of India have mourned in sufferings of people elsewhere in India. This common thread is precisely the same feeling that I used to get watching "Mile Sur Mera Tumhara". This is our common Pulse that beats loud and keeps doing so. I felt this Pulse when I was at MNNIT Allahabad,I felt this pulse when I was at IPL match at Delhi,when India won T20 World cup,when we won 3 medals at olympic, when I ate Khicdi in Pongal at Allahabad, or even when I felt pain after bombblasts at Ahmedabad. But I feel we should strive to keep this pulse beating. For Instance I am surprised to see why Doordarshan does not Telecast "Mile Sur Mera Tumhara" any more. Why can't I&B ministry push other TV channels to do so. Some give economic agrument against this, but Money in one hand in counrty in other! Choice is simple. It is very imporatant that we become aware of this pulse and then try and not block it in anyways. Because Propagandas are created repeatedly which can effect our subconscious thinking, like the statement that of Arundhatui Roy. Well, at last I would say that we should enjoy this richness of Indian Diversity as this is very unique strength or ours and makes us True nation in many ways.
"Mile Sur Mera Tumhara to sur bane hamaraa"
I remember when I was a kid, I kind of not liked it because I had to wait for my favourite serial Mahabharata for some more time because of this song. But at that age also it used to generate a sense of Indianness among me. It was my first introduction to a South Indian Language or a Marathi people singing this song in marathi language. It was the song that subconsciously made me aware of India being a diverse country and all of us being a thread to its diversity and yet being united to make this beautiful collage. I consider myself lucky to have been later in a MNNIT Allahabad, where I came in contact with people from all parts of India ( In all NITs in India we have quotas for persons from all states of India) and felt the richness of India because of this diversity. I always have seen this diversity as our unique strength.
But now that I have grown up, I have other feeling also, for this "Unity in Diversity" Tag. Sometimes I think that we(Indians) have spent only 61 years as country India. Earlier there were provinces and there was no concept of India as a nation. So if you consider this, you would realise that out of say 5000+ years we have been India only for 61 years. And precisely grew united because of urgency during freesom movement of India, which provided us a common cause. And as we all know that even for Freedom we had to become divided in India and Pakistan ( though it was because of many reasons yet the baseline was our diversity,religious in this case. And Besides we had Leadership of some great figures of Indian History like Mahatma Ghandhi, or some others, and they were the ones who helped in development of concept of nation India.
But now after 61 years, does it not look like we are falling apart? Consider these recent separatist movements for separate Kashmir,earlier for separate Khalistan, North East and in Tamilnadu. I read this Statement from Arundhati Roy some days earlier that Kashmir should be given Freedom from India. I understand, that the statement is emotional to a large extent but it has an intellectual basis also. Does it not strike you since we have no common cause like freedom struggle today, we are moving towards separation which is our natural tendency because of so much diversity? I mean we always say that India in unique because of "Unity in Diversity", but to me it looks like that this diversity alone does not let us to become united naturally.
Well, This is just a thought that I do not subscribe very well for even myself. But somehow it makes some sense. and if you think more on this point, it makes greater sense. It seems natural that we have Naxalism,Bodo terrorism or many such other problems.
But On thinking more I find out that No, we have a common Thread, a sense of being Indian, which I am ignoring if I say that separation is our natural tendency. If Abhinav wins a Gold Medal, a Tamil is as happy as a punjabi. And Its been like this since ages that people at one part of India have mourned in sufferings of people elsewhere in India. This common thread is precisely the same feeling that I used to get watching "Mile Sur Mera Tumhara". This is our common Pulse that beats loud and keeps doing so. I felt this Pulse when I was at MNNIT Allahabad,I felt this pulse when I was at IPL match at Delhi,when India won T20 World cup,when we won 3 medals at olympic, when I ate Khicdi in Pongal at Allahabad, or even when I felt pain after bombblasts at Ahmedabad. But I feel we should strive to keep this pulse beating. For Instance I am surprised to see why Doordarshan does not Telecast "Mile Sur Mera Tumhara" any more. Why can't I&B ministry push other TV channels to do so. Some give economic agrument against this, but Money in one hand in counrty in other! Choice is simple. It is very imporatant that we become aware of this pulse and then try and not block it in anyways. Because Propagandas are created repeatedly which can effect our subconscious thinking, like the statement that of Arundhatui Roy. Well, at last I would say that we should enjoy this richness of Indian Diversity as this is very unique strength or ours and makes us True nation in many ways.
"Mile Sur Mera Tumhara to sur bane hamaraa"
Thursday, July 31, 2008
India, My Country
Sometimes I think why at all freedom was required for India. In other words I would say I try to think about a scenario in which India does not become free in 1947. After a lot of thought I most of the times reach to a conclusion that, in order to become a world leader or a world power one elementary condition is to become free. And more so for India because arguably we were once world leader in ancient times and we were the ones who made significant inroads in field of mathematics, art, law, philosophy, Religion and other fields and it was us from whom most of these things flowed to other parts of primitive human civilization. But that again, that was only in ancient times. I also find out one more reason that is that we Indians are capable of becoming world leaders again, we are a country which deserve to be second to none.
For Instance a Ramanujam was a clerk in Madras, did not have proper food and other basic amenities of life. But when he was sent to a British university, He grew to be considered as one of the greatest mathematician of his decade. I just quote this example here because I think that Indian mind is some how capable of taking human civilizaion to steps further in many directions. And it was therefore a necessity for country India to become free to become creative and original in its ideologies and Ideas. And It was also necessary to ensure that every Indian gets proper food, clothing and basic amenities of life so that he can move ahead and innovate.
Some days earlier I saw bribery scandal being divulged in the Parliament and I was shocked. I was more ashamed because the MP's who brought money to Parliament considered it to be some kind of victory with out being even slightly thoughtful about the fact that whole world was watching at this mockery of Indian democracy. Some of them must be joking at us and some of them may even have contempt in their minds for us. That day there was a mention of Bomb Blast in Jammu Kashmir in news paper, and I was surprised to see that it was so taken for granted that no body paid attention to this. It looked as if Life of people at Jammu Kashmir holds no significance for us. No statement from Home minister, no consolations for people those died. The only news that was in lime light was this Bribery scandal.
If I summarise my feeling to some words at that moment it was not any kind of disappointment or sorrow, rather this was an acute pain. I just felt- 'oh shit'. I was feeling as if I just wanted to go somewhere where I just can't think about this.
Then came next day, Bomb blasts at Banglore, I was again deeply shocked. Next to that day I was going to watch a movie and some of my friend mentioned that its not safe. I just had an argument with him that its ridiculous to think like that. I mean, we should/have right to feel safe at least in our country. But then the same day, there were blasts at Ahmedabad, next day live bombs found at Surat. Should we really feel safe? Lets not discuss about right of feeling safe.
And then came statement from one of members of a major national party that these bomb plantings and blasts were done to divert attention from Bribery scandal. My God! what an opportunism. What has happened to us, where is that cohesive view of India where we call her our motherland and think that we can do anything for her. What about Indians being people who will give world new directions ? I thought that there would be some statement from our Prime Minister or President with an assurance. but that was not !!! It looked as if feeling of being Indian was being hit , the pride behind it is being hit from all sides. The pain became more acute.
It was only the next day when I woke up and came in balcony and saw temple bell ringing and a flag over it, I felt no, its not all bad. I was coming to office and saw people talking to each other happily, some hugging each other, I felt relaxed. I felt no, spirit of my motherland is alive and we are moving ahead. I also thought probably it is this spirit that has kept us bounded and very much alive since ages. And this thought improved my feeling of relaxation to a certain optimism and certain happiness. I felt as if my blood pressure is decreasing and took a deep breath and a sigh of relief.
For Instance a Ramanujam was a clerk in Madras, did not have proper food and other basic amenities of life. But when he was sent to a British university, He grew to be considered as one of the greatest mathematician of his decade. I just quote this example here because I think that Indian mind is some how capable of taking human civilizaion to steps further in many directions. And it was therefore a necessity for country India to become free to become creative and original in its ideologies and Ideas. And It was also necessary to ensure that every Indian gets proper food, clothing and basic amenities of life so that he can move ahead and innovate.
Some days earlier I saw bribery scandal being divulged in the Parliament and I was shocked. I was more ashamed because the MP's who brought money to Parliament considered it to be some kind of victory with out being even slightly thoughtful about the fact that whole world was watching at this mockery of Indian democracy. Some of them must be joking at us and some of them may even have contempt in their minds for us. That day there was a mention of Bomb Blast in Jammu Kashmir in news paper, and I was surprised to see that it was so taken for granted that no body paid attention to this. It looked as if Life of people at Jammu Kashmir holds no significance for us. No statement from Home minister, no consolations for people those died. The only news that was in lime light was this Bribery scandal.
If I summarise my feeling to some words at that moment it was not any kind of disappointment or sorrow, rather this was an acute pain. I just felt- 'oh shit'. I was feeling as if I just wanted to go somewhere where I just can't think about this.
Then came next day, Bomb blasts at Banglore, I was again deeply shocked. Next to that day I was going to watch a movie and some of my friend mentioned that its not safe. I just had an argument with him that its ridiculous to think like that. I mean, we should/have right to feel safe at least in our country. But then the same day, there were blasts at Ahmedabad, next day live bombs found at Surat. Should we really feel safe? Lets not discuss about right of feeling safe.
And then came statement from one of members of a major national party that these bomb plantings and blasts were done to divert attention from Bribery scandal. My God! what an opportunism. What has happened to us, where is that cohesive view of India where we call her our motherland and think that we can do anything for her. What about Indians being people who will give world new directions ? I thought that there would be some statement from our Prime Minister or President with an assurance. but that was not !!! It looked as if feeling of being Indian was being hit , the pride behind it is being hit from all sides. The pain became more acute.
It was only the next day when I woke up and came in balcony and saw temple bell ringing and a flag over it, I felt no, its not all bad. I was coming to office and saw people talking to each other happily, some hugging each other, I felt relaxed. I felt no, spirit of my motherland is alive and we are moving ahead. I also thought probably it is this spirit that has kept us bounded and very much alive since ages. And this thought improved my feeling of relaxation to a certain optimism and certain happiness. I felt as if my blood pressure is decreasing and took a deep breath and a sigh of relief.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Pt. Nehru watches Incredible Hulk 2008
These days I am reading "Discovery of India" written by the first Prime-minister of India Mr. Jawahar Lal Nehru. Discovery of India covers every aspect of artistic, intellectual and philosophical attainment of India through ages. Through out reading the book I have been amazed to see perspective of a Prime minister towards Indian History, Hindu as a religion, Hindi as a language and also about the impact of science on the Human race.
Last Friday, I went to watch movie Incredible Hulk, a movie which is second in the Hulk series. The movie talks about a crazy scientist who makes himself a test subject for his discovery towards human immunity towards diseases and it involves gamma radiations. and This guy while an experiment becomes a subject for a miracle and turns in to a monster which grows enormously in size whenever his heart beat rises. I had also heard about a Gizmo movie Love story 2050 and that thought was also there in my mind.
On Friday after watching the movie I had a dream where I saw Pt. Nehru watching Incredible Hulk which is screened as a Science fiction movie with name "The Incredible Hulk in 2008". And he is perplexed while watching the movie. Pt. Nehru Lived in a period of history when there was a universal optimism towards technology. This was a period of time when technology was growing. Atomic Physics, communication, electronics and various branches of science had started to create their impact on Human race. On major factor was a focus on "Why" in perspective of people in general. In this period of time Human was growing capable of controlling natural factors and forces and subverting them according to his own wish. and thats why Pt. Nehru says that his period was a unique period of Human civilization where human had attained those capabilities. In my dream I saw that Mr. Nehru is awestruck to see the destruction caused by technical progress. In Movie an Army officer ( General in US army) infuses his man with some radioactive radiations so as to turn them in to weapons. and then by mistake another Monster is created who is similar in size to that of Hulk. and He starts disrupting life in New York.
Mr. Nehru in my dream is rethinking about his optimism towards technology. In brilliant universities of America, which are temple for science, all these Destructive experiments take place. The Human has reached to the extent of creating Human Weapons, genetically infusing human. The blood of hulk itself is so destructive that a sheer drop of it could lead to enormous destruction. and above all there is this cruel desire of human to conquer everything. Mr. Nehru is thinking if he should check all the technical progress in India and should campaign against it through out the world. He is thinking if it is really useful to create IIT's at all. He is thinking if actually advent of technology a boon for Human race or it is a bane. He is thinking if he should follow a path which will lead India to a country which guides world to Live with out technology and to live in Harmony with nature. Mr. Nehru with his Farsightedness is able to see that a day may come when war are fought with Atomic bombs which may exterminate Human race with all its roots. He is confused.
We are today living in a period where there is still a optimism towards technology. We foresee a lot of progress both at science and technology fronts. But somehow a pessimism towards this progress is also creeping in. I was today reading about some scientific mission of India which is touted as dream mission of ex-President of India Mr. Kalam and I was surprised to see its mention under title "Science or tigers". The article said -
"the best kept secret in India is that we are at the verge of ecodisaster to happen."
Seeing all this I also sympathize and have the similar feelings to that Mr. Nehru had in my dream. When I think about it more, I Find that in my dream it was Vice versa as Mr. Nehru was having Feelings that I have somewhere in me.
Last Friday, I went to watch movie Incredible Hulk, a movie which is second in the Hulk series. The movie talks about a crazy scientist who makes himself a test subject for his discovery towards human immunity towards diseases and it involves gamma radiations. and This guy while an experiment becomes a subject for a miracle and turns in to a monster which grows enormously in size whenever his heart beat rises. I had also heard about a Gizmo movie Love story 2050 and that thought was also there in my mind.
On Friday after watching the movie I had a dream where I saw Pt. Nehru watching Incredible Hulk which is screened as a Science fiction movie with name "The Incredible Hulk in 2008". And he is perplexed while watching the movie. Pt. Nehru Lived in a period of history when there was a universal optimism towards technology. This was a period of time when technology was growing. Atomic Physics, communication, electronics and various branches of science had started to create their impact on Human race. On major factor was a focus on "Why" in perspective of people in general. In this period of time Human was growing capable of controlling natural factors and forces and subverting them according to his own wish. and thats why Pt. Nehru says that his period was a unique period of Human civilization where human had attained those capabilities. In my dream I saw that Mr. Nehru is awestruck to see the destruction caused by technical progress. In Movie an Army officer ( General in US army) infuses his man with some radioactive radiations so as to turn them in to weapons. and then by mistake another Monster is created who is similar in size to that of Hulk. and He starts disrupting life in New York.
Mr. Nehru in my dream is rethinking about his optimism towards technology. In brilliant universities of America, which are temple for science, all these Destructive experiments take place. The Human has reached to the extent of creating Human Weapons, genetically infusing human. The blood of hulk itself is so destructive that a sheer drop of it could lead to enormous destruction. and above all there is this cruel desire of human to conquer everything. Mr. Nehru is thinking if he should check all the technical progress in India and should campaign against it through out the world. He is thinking if it is really useful to create IIT's at all. He is thinking if actually advent of technology a boon for Human race or it is a bane. He is thinking if he should follow a path which will lead India to a country which guides world to Live with out technology and to live in Harmony with nature. Mr. Nehru with his Farsightedness is able to see that a day may come when war are fought with Atomic bombs which may exterminate Human race with all its roots. He is confused.
We are today living in a period where there is still a optimism towards technology. We foresee a lot of progress both at science and technology fronts. But somehow a pessimism towards this progress is also creeping in. I was today reading about some scientific mission of India which is touted as dream mission of ex-President of India Mr. Kalam and I was surprised to see its mention under title "Science or tigers". The article said -
"the best kept secret in India is that we are at the verge of ecodisaster to happen."
Seeing all this I also sympathize and have the similar feelings to that Mr. Nehru had in my dream. When I think about it more, I Find that in my dream it was Vice versa as Mr. Nehru was having Feelings that I have somewhere in me.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
An Inconvenient Truth
I was only slightly informed about Global warming. Even when I read articles about it, I never understood it to its true extent. Actually we Human beings are subconsciously so self involved that we never ever agree to existence of anything until unless it directly effects us. There have been Katrina,Tsunami but our consciousness towards these events is only limited to merely consider them as news. Only some weeks ago near the World Environment day 5th June we had Environment week at ST Microelectronics. There Movie "An Inconvenient Truth" by Mr.AlGore was Screened. The movie has won an Oscar and Mr. AlGore has won Nobel Peace Prize for his efforts. I personally was deeply moved to see the movie and so were many others.
One very interesting in the movie was this frog analogy, which says that if you put a frog in to a jar of boiling water it jumps out instantly. But if you put the frog in to a jar of cold water, and then start boiling it frog never comes out . Similarly we human beings even after being alarmed to the risk of global warming never work to alleviate it, because ironically its a problem which is slower in its impacts than the pace required for us to get in to action.
I was appalled to see the factbasedness of the movie. There were graphs. And Some graphs like that of CO2 levels, Temperature levels showed that we are in trouble big time. Everywhere there were facts like that of level of shrinking Ice caps, that of Sea waves direction changes. Even more facts like the calculation based predictions which had alarmed about Katrina. But C'mon, Nobody believes all this crap. We guys are too smart and self involved to accept these facts. And Katrina Devastated America. There is a Quote in the movie which says:
"What changed in US with Hurricane Katrina was a feeling that we have entered a period of consequences."
I mean its all fact, mathematics, science behind every prediction that alarms us about global warming. I mean its like if x happens and y increased, z is bound to happen. and We know that x has happened, Y is increasing and we sit comfortably !!!
We have risked earth for our comforts and self involvement. Those who dont believe me, PLEASE WATCH MOVIE : AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH. Please vist website
www.climatecrisis.net
I personally tried to mail many people about it but everybody seems reluctant. I dont understand why? I think Its that frog analogy that explains it. We just don't understand that working to avert Global warming is inclusive NOT EXCLUSIVE to everything else that we do. I appeal here to you to rise to the challenge. After all we are a race which has changed earth most than anybody else, this is what is special about Human beings that we can usher changes in and have done so in the past. Who else could have sent something to moon from earth, could have done something as complex as Heart Transplantation surgery.
I just appeal to you to watch the movie "An Inconvenient truth" at least once and to take small steps to try to save energy wherever it is possible.
One very interesting in the movie was this frog analogy, which says that if you put a frog in to a jar of boiling water it jumps out instantly. But if you put the frog in to a jar of cold water, and then start boiling it frog never comes out . Similarly we human beings even after being alarmed to the risk of global warming never work to alleviate it, because ironically its a problem which is slower in its impacts than the pace required for us to get in to action.
I was appalled to see the factbasedness of the movie. There were graphs. And Some graphs like that of CO2 levels, Temperature levels showed that we are in trouble big time. Everywhere there were facts like that of level of shrinking Ice caps, that of Sea waves direction changes. Even more facts like the calculation based predictions which had alarmed about Katrina. But C'mon, Nobody believes all this crap. We guys are too smart and self involved to accept these facts. And Katrina Devastated America. There is a Quote in the movie which says:
"What changed in US with Hurricane Katrina was a feeling that we have entered a period of consequences."
I mean its all fact, mathematics, science behind every prediction that alarms us about global warming. I mean its like if x happens and y increased, z is bound to happen. and We know that x has happened, Y is increasing and we sit comfortably !!!
We have risked earth for our comforts and self involvement. Those who dont believe me, PLEASE WATCH MOVIE : AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH. Please vist website
www.climatecrisis.net
I personally tried to mail many people about it but everybody seems reluctant. I dont understand why? I think Its that frog analogy that explains it. We just don't understand that working to avert Global warming is inclusive NOT EXCLUSIVE to everything else that we do. I appeal here to you to rise to the challenge. After all we are a race which has changed earth most than anybody else, this is what is special about Human beings that we can usher changes in and have done so in the past. Who else could have sent something to moon from earth, could have done something as complex as Heart Transplantation surgery.
I just appeal to you to watch the movie "An Inconvenient truth" at least once and to take small steps to try to save energy wherever it is possible.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
"The Rain"
As a kid my heart used to sing. There used to be songs. Everytime It rained, the first cold drops of water, the peculiar smell coming from mud, The sound of leaves from Bunyan Tree, The hopping frongs, everything used to make the sound even rythmic. Even later at Almora this song was internalised by me even more. The distant mountains in rain looked as if they are saying, "Hey kid, Look I have watched you play many times, Now see here I Play". I always wished to stay at mountains for ever and never leave them. But then I grew, reached cities, heard creeks of vehicles, people shouting at and hating each other. My heart became afraid, It stopped singing. The sound became mum. The time passed by and now there was no song. Mind had grown over heart. It was, it is, career consciousness, a mad race, a target somewhere to achieve always, even logical problems those made the sound even feeble. Here I am, seeing the first rain of this season want to go back to time, want to feel the sound of leaves, that feeling of joy again. I want to run fast and want to listen to that "chap chap" sound again. Some where some how I have lost it. But I want to go back. And I think see I think again. I just dont want to think, I want to feel. I want to feel.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
I think
I think. And see patterns in things and am able to find out things those could have happened or may possibly happen. I think about thinking too. even I think that I think about thinking. It never stops. Sometimes I am lost in this. I may think about two things and even multiple things together. And when interrupted will still not be able to come out of all thinking threads together. Therefore I sometimes behave as a absent minded person. Given simple tasks I will make them too complex by thinking too much about them, trying to think about all possible dimensions, all possible consequences and factors. While bathing I may think about thermodynamics, while talking to somebody I may think about Psychology, while travelling I may think about sociology, looking at sun, I think about different planes, looking at numbers I may see patterns, looking at Europeans I may think about evolution, races , theology, number of chromosomes. And everytime in this state I feel unique pleasure, a certain happiness and I feel like humming. I am happy to be an engineer as it pays me for thinking. But I certainly strive to find better avenues where I get more time and purpose to think about various things and hopefully am able to share my ideas with others.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Multi-Dimensionsal Thinking
Everybody looks at things from different angles. But they can be seen in different dimensions also. Earlier I never realised that Lateral thinking in one dimension and vertical is other. These dimesions look pretty obvious. If I consider the above two as x axis thinking and y axis thinking, then there can be a z dimesion to thinking also. I call it as shift of platform for thinking and there can be many platforms to shift to. Suppose Somebody says I think about a apple. It is Red, It's sweet and It is round. He is doing One dimensional thinking. Suppose one MBA comes and says that it can be exported to another country as it is of great Quality its another dimension of thinking in the same platform. But Somebody thinks about first person's perception of an apple and of its difference to some body else's, He is thinking at a different platform, and which you can say is in z directions. Suppose another person thinks not about quality of apple but thinks about the definition of quality itself first, he is again thinking at a different platform which I say is in 'w' direction.
Philosophers in early times used to ponder a lot about basic things for hours. This was because they used to shift between different platforms of thinking. But we as modern human being don't have this opportunity. You may have just thought that this is because any lack of time or due to our business in normal lives. But I say that this is because our thinking has been restricted to certain dimensions of thinking only. In our schools and other social institutions we are made to think only in certain fixed dimensions. And that makes those facilities of brain more dominant to others. And the effect is loss of natural creativity and ability of multidimensional thinking, as everytime we think, our thinking patteren is dominated by the way we are taught to think.
I certainly agree that there can be many things that our brain is not capable to think of. and perceptions only govern our Ideas. For example wheels were invented round because sun is round. Triangle shape was generated because Mountains are like triangles. But There can be many shapes in the world which we have no perception for and hence those are never created.
We are not able to see Time dimension, we are only able to feel it through our memory. But it does exist. I think we would have certainly been more able to discover things, had we not had so many preconceived notions. In this way Science is killing itself by imposing patterns of thinking on individual minds.
Einstein definitely was a multidimensional thinker and so can one be. One has just got to try to think with out preconceived notions. On would realise that one enjoys it . And slowly slowly some day this way one must be able to shift platforms of thinking.
Philosophers in early times used to ponder a lot about basic things for hours. This was because they used to shift between different platforms of thinking. But we as modern human being don't have this opportunity. You may have just thought that this is because any lack of time or due to our business in normal lives. But I say that this is because our thinking has been restricted to certain dimensions of thinking only. In our schools and other social institutions we are made to think only in certain fixed dimensions. And that makes those facilities of brain more dominant to others. And the effect is loss of natural creativity and ability of multidimensional thinking, as everytime we think, our thinking patteren is dominated by the way we are taught to think.
I certainly agree that there can be many things that our brain is not capable to think of. and perceptions only govern our Ideas. For example wheels were invented round because sun is round. Triangle shape was generated because Mountains are like triangles. But There can be many shapes in the world which we have no perception for and hence those are never created.
We are not able to see Time dimension, we are only able to feel it through our memory. But it does exist. I think we would have certainly been more able to discover things, had we not had so many preconceived notions. In this way Science is killing itself by imposing patterns of thinking on individual minds.
Einstein definitely was a multidimensional thinker and so can one be. One has just got to try to think with out preconceived notions. On would realise that one enjoys it . And slowly slowly some day this way one must be able to shift platforms of thinking.
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