Monday, December 29, 2008


Having reached so far, I find you but not you,
Now Nowhere to turn to, I should end up with you and only you.

where I went wrong, I cant see it better you tell me,
Pity it is, with loss of originality, even you cant tell me.

Here I am with all my life for even a not so you of you,
Coz I have a feeling that u can still be seen only through you.

And I shall wait till that moment though temporary comes,
As for me its not time that matters, my beloved "you".

Sunday, December 21, 2008

The Complete Man

When I was a kid, I watched Raymond suiting advertisement on television which had its punch line as: "For the complete man" and used to show some nice suite clad men in a marriage, a young guy paying respect to his parents, showing love to his beautiful wife, this was what I always wanted to be. This was fantasy and at that age I did not use to think about things like what kind of professions those guys must be in or what kind of lives guys like those must be leading.
Then I grew older and reached college. There I had a chance to interact with Ankit Fadia( Hacking wizard), I read about Sabir Bhatia or Steve Jobs and my fantasy of a complete man changed a bit and now my complete man used to wear informal clothes. He was a guy who had done something different in his life and had taken a road less travelled.( I had then read poem, "The road less travelled" by Robert Frost. I loved it and do love it still). My complete man was successful in his professional life and had made his fortune himself.
Then I read "Fountain Head" by Ayn Rand,( thanks to a friend, both of us read book as a competition between us, which of course I won :-) ) and this book impacted my concept of complete man immensely. Now he was a guy who was a perfectionist, perfectly selfish and therefore altruistic ( oops I just said that). He did care only about himself and did not have expectations from anybody. I used to believe that protagonist Howard Roark is a utopian concept for Indian society but I had started behaving like Howard and his impact on me was visible to some closer ones of mine too. (I lost some good friends and people started me terming as an individualist but after all collectivists never like individualists :-) )
Then I happened to read a book "Seven Habits of highly effective people", ( I never like books of this sort, but we do sometimes like to do things which we don’t like to do), Some first chapters of the book fortified Howard Roark inside me but then came some further chapters which tried to tone him down a little. This book did not impact me much, only significant thing that I learnt was that one should try to look at other's paradigm also before one reaches to any stand (Well doing this sometimes confuses me a lot, but helps me mostly.)
But then another phase has come where I have become a little negative about all my conceptions of complete man. I term it as that reality has struck me. Aged 24 today, I sometime feel that time is slipping and I am stuck where I have been. I am no longer sure of my control on my life. I just want to float in the river called destiny. But I want to enjoy and do enjoy this floating of mine ( Ah, I remember free floating in Ganges here which I had done on a rafting trip last year, that was beautiful and so is this free floating today.)
Well last paragraph is one side of my thoughts, other side says that life is about being positive. It is your control of life and Hey who can take it away from you? It says you may not be a complete man but you are very good, you may think that you are stranded but if you see closely, you have improved during this period more than any other in your life.
Well, I guess the positive thoughts strike more chord with me than the negative ones and hence here I am doing and experiencing many things in my life that I have never done before. I might be little off the target with which I had started the article but the point that I wanted to make keeping myself at the helm was that- the negative phase that I talked about briefly comes in everybody's life someday. I have seen some people going in depression when they turn 30 because they think that they can't reach the long terms that they had set for themselves 5 years earlier because they have wasted a lot of time. But This is not what life is about, it is about Saying Yes to experiences and being bubbling with enthusiasm and to continue to improve (one must decide his own definition for term improvement though) and we must live and enjoy it to the fullest. Just live it like you have never done before and everybody thus becomes a complete man in his own respect.

Note: I was never sure I would be able to end this article on positive note :-D