Susceptible I

I have never found myself more susceptible to new ideologies, ways of thinking and ways of doing things than I am finding these days. Some days ago I was reading a book about "Special theory of relativity" and there I read this chapter about time dilation. I was so moved by this. I was reading this in my office bus and as soon as I understood that our concept of time is not absolute, I was awestruck. I was not able to speak any sentence, I just wanted to think more and more about it. I started thinking about that basic "mosquito in a train example" ( general theory of relativity) and then tried to relate it to slowing of clock ( can be explained on the basis of special theory of relativity). Oh man, I don't remember when I got down from bus and when did I reached my flat. I was so much in to it. I had read this theory before but never was so overwhelmed.
Some days ago I completed book "Discovery of India" and as soon as it was finished,I felt a strange void. The conception of man's thought, his purpose on earth made me feel uneasy. What I am doing? What should be done? Should man seek balance in his life or should he become an individualist and an extremist. All these things had never struck me like this ever before.
Yesterday, I watched 2 movies- " Secret Window" and "In to the Wild", I was so amazed to see movie:"In to the wild". Is man a force of universe? How small are capabilities in comparison to the might that of a river? Why at all we sometime try to go against nature? Why this society? why don't we live as animals in pure coherence with nature?
I have noticed that I have too many questions these days and have very few answers. And somehow, I try to get answers for these complex questions by some rudimentary thinking. I sometimes reach somewhere and most of times I am lost in my thoughts.I know I get a lot of pleasure thinking and which drives me to keep doing so. But this sometimes disturbs me a lot, I get a little absent minded. For instance on Friday after reading after reading this theory of relativity I was nowhere. I was lost somewhere.

I believe I may not get answers for these questions of mine, but somehow this thought process helps me develop me as an Individual. I think this has something to do with my age that I am so susceptible to thinking. And more because of the fact that earlier probably my IQ was not so much that I could appreciate real beauty of all these thoughts. And that is one thing I can be happy about. Ultimately the fact is that I am too susceptible these days and don't know how many new questions will come to me? And eventually how many more dimensions will be added to my perspective further?