Susceptible I

I have never found myself more susceptible to new ideologies, ways of thinking and ways of doing things than I am finding these days. Some days ago I was reading a book about "Special theory of relativity" and there I read this chapter about time dilation. I was so moved by this. I was reading this in my office bus and as soon as I understood that our concept of time is not absolute, I was awestruck. I was not able to speak any sentence, I just wanted to think more and more about it. I started thinking about that basic "mosquito in a train example" ( general theory of relativity) and then tried to relate it to slowing of clock ( can be explained on the basis of special theory of relativity). Oh man, I don't remember when I got down from bus and when did I reached my flat. I was so much in to it. I had read this theory before but never was so overwhelmed.
Some days ago I completed book "Discovery of India" and as soon as it was finished,I felt a strange void. The conception of man's thought, his purpose on earth made me feel uneasy. What I am doing? What should be done? Should man seek balance in his life or should he become an individualist and an extremist. All these things had never struck me like this ever before.
Yesterday, I watched 2 movies- " Secret Window" and "In to the Wild", I was so amazed to see movie:"In to the wild". Is man a force of universe? How small are capabilities in comparison to the might that of a river? Why at all we sometime try to go against nature? Why this society? why don't we live as animals in pure coherence with nature?
I have noticed that I have too many questions these days and have very few answers. And somehow, I try to get answers for these complex questions by some rudimentary thinking. I sometimes reach somewhere and most of times I am lost in my thoughts.I know I get a lot of pleasure thinking and which drives me to keep doing so. But this sometimes disturbs me a lot, I get a little absent minded. For instance on Friday after reading after reading this theory of relativity I was nowhere. I was lost somewhere.

I believe I may not get answers for these questions of mine, but somehow this thought process helps me develop me as an Individual. I think this has something to do with my age that I am so susceptible to thinking. And more because of the fact that earlier probably my IQ was not so much that I could appreciate real beauty of all these thoughts. And that is one thing I can be happy about. Ultimately the fact is that I am too susceptible these days and don't know how many new questions will come to me? And eventually how many more dimensions will be added to my perspective further?

Uddvelan

"It hits hard. And leaves no chance to do so. Demon is always there.
sometimes it pushes hard and sometimes just a gentle wipe. The sun rises.and there is always a night after..I think why? Snakes come to me,hiss and try to scare me but never bite. Anyway eventually I have no place to run" Professor is suddenly awakened from his dreams. He has been dreaming a demon since last some days and is aware of doing so. The girl on the next seat is very cautiously watching this old man.She starts crying. The professor feels helpless.What is happening to him? Sometimes he dreams a war, some times he dreams a young man bare chested with blood all around. Sometimes there is light and patterns formed as in Young's double slit experiment. "Oh..Young Double slit experiment..Oh class..Oh what is time: its 9:30..Oh Shit,Late again.Professor sees the crying girl.she is again watching him carefully but this time smiling". Professor checks his notes.They are with him. Fine!! Professor sings to himself: "stayin alive..stayin alive..ah ah ah..." the girl is relaxed now.and so is prof.
Professor is a Physics Teacher in 'Boys High School'. He is again late for class as usual.

Note: I feel as if some burden is off me. I don't know how it happened.